Hunger

I had forgotten how much waiting is part of the adoption process. With Mikias, we were so anxious and felt like we were waiting "all the time". When he was finally home, you erase all those frustrating feelings from your memory and dive in to bonding, adjusting...parenting. With Sintayehu, the wait has been longer and harder. Coupled with the fact, that you learn new things which gives you one more thing to worry about.

Recently, we discovered that Ethiopia has a shortage of formula. Yes, you read that right. A shortage of formula. It is often hard for me to wrap my head around the ideals of hunger when everywhere I turn, food is around me. Most groceries stores have aisles of food and stacks of formula at that. So, how is it possible that there is a shortage of formula? And a shortage of formula in a country where my son is at! It makes me want to scream.

I often find myself in a struggle between the reality of how things are and the way things should be. I find myself angry at the thought that orphanages in Ethiopia probably don't rank high on a list of formula "getters". I struggle with my thoughts of how this is being remedied at the moment. My thoughts usually center on less feedings, watered down nourishment and then an overall feeling of dispair. Of course these are speculations and it gets tiring trying to dig around and find out what really is going on. Do I even want to know?

Benjamin and I are well aware that this is part of the choice we made in adopting from a country where resources aren't as plenty. It doesn't make it hurt any less. Although, in many ways, it has been a gift as the perspective gained is priceless.

When I fast forward to the day we will meet Sintayehu and leave the orphanage with him in our arms, I know we will feel relief. However, I anticipate the look back over our shoulders on our way out too. It is those kids that I can't get out of my mind most of all. It is the children who are there right now, who may or may not be HIV+, that might have a lesser chance for a different option. Whether Sintayehu knows it or not, he is already loved deeply. He will be nourished by much more than food. I just feel so much for children that remain who hunger for a family, hunger for love and now have to hunger for food.

As a mother, my daily prayer is that our son feels nourished by hope that we will be there soon...

What I told Mikias

On Tuesday I went to pick up Mikias from daycare (my new routine since Joanna's new job). When we got back in the car NPR was replaying Obama's inaugural address. I really wanted to listen to it again so I told Mikias we were going to listen to this instead of music...he was ok with it.

Then I told Mikias that Obama was our new President. I told him how people all over the country were excited about the change it looks like this man will bring. I told him how Obama is going to try to be someone who first talks and listens to people instead of quickly starting wars. I told Mikias how Obama's election proved that people are considering the content of one's character rather than the color of one's skin. I told Mikias that President Obama's daddy was born in Africa, in the country right next to where Mikias was born...he thought that was pretty cool...I do too.

The past couple days I've picked up Mikias from daycare, loaded him into the car, and asked "Do you want to listen to music?". "No," Mikias says, "Obama!!".

Merry Ethiopian Christmas

I've finally done something I've been meaning to do for a long time. For Christmas I bought Mikias and Sintayehu an Ethiopian flag. My plan is to bring out the flag and display it on all the major Ethiopian holidays. I thought this would be a really cool tradition for the boys. Luckily, we got to use the flag very soon...today! Today is Christmas (Genna) in Ethiopia. We plan on getting some Ethiopian food from a local restaurant and having our parents over for dinner. It should be fun.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Merry Christmas...Happy New Year...and we have a court date!

The holiday season was so much fun this year with Mikias. He really enjoyed being around everyone, especially his cousins. He can't seem to get enough of them. He is old enough to want to be with them, but usually ends up being the third person in a string of three running around whichever house we are at.

For the most part, the break from work was good. We had such high expectations of getting a new room together, cleaning out some much needed files and well, you know, doing all the other things that should be done all along. As fate would have it, we spent a good portion of the break sick and none of the aforementioned happened. Such is life...Ben and I work really well with deadlines, so perhaps getting ready for Sintayehu's arrival will be another example of this.

Speaking of deadlines, we received word that Sintayehu's court date is February
25th! This is the day that all parties involved have to have all the proper paperwork to finalize the adoption. Court dates can go through on the first time, however there is no guarantee. We are cautiously optimistic that all will go as planned and will be able to start to make travel plans in conjunction with the embassy date. Typically, this would happen 4-6 weeks after a successful court date!

Honestly, Feb 25th seems like a long ways a way! Benjamin and I agree that this adoption has been a little harder as the time frame has been extended and as parents already, we have an acute awareness of what we are missing out on right now. Having said that, we do take some comfort in knowing that he is surrounded by his people and is soaking up what Ethiopia has to offer him right now. I know we both think continuously of our little guy and hope he is being loved by those geographically close, yet feels the many thoughts that go out to him from this side of the world too!

I have to admit, that sometimes when I am with Mikias, I think to myself... is it possible to love another child as much as I do him? But, when I stare repeatedly at Sintayehu's picture, I already know that answer.

Here are a few pictures of our holidays!